PEOPLE WHOM I REFUSE TO TRUST

Grown ass adults who still use ‘u’ and ‘ur’

Those who say ‘Oh’ instead of ‘Zero’ 

Guys who wink. 

Those who don’t dash their sevens and Z’s.

Gentlemen who do not own properly tailored clothes.

Dudes who don’t put the toilet seat down. 

People who use motorized salt and pepper shakers. 

Those who can’t be bothered to match their socks.

Dudes who smoke cigars. 

Anyone who refers to their friends as their ‘tribe.’

Those who don’t eat their pizza crust. 

People who celebrate birthday ‘months.’